


Till Death Do Us Part

by Lunar_Bella



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Saddness, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Bella/pseuds/Lunar_Bella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi sacrificed himself to save his love and wound up half dead and broken and battered. He suffers in agony, barely holding on as it was. When Eren finds his lover had commit suicide, he finds himself in his own suffering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till Death Do Us Part

The younger male sat hunched over the bed in the infirmary. It wasn’t fair. This couldn’t be happening. It should be him lying there, wrapped in bandages from nearly head to toe. It should be him dying from infection and a broken body.

“Eren…” Came the forced choke of his lover and commanding officer. The brunette looked up from where their hands were interlocked to meet pale grey eyes that used to be steel and danger. Now all he saw there was a cloudy day.

“I’m here, Levi.” The boy assure the older, moving his free hand to gently hold his true love's face in his palm. The weakened man leaned his head into it gently, relishing the contact.

“I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”

“Stop. You haven’t broken anything.” Except his entire body. Eren kept that thought to himself. It was no use making either of them worry more. He needed Levi to get better.

“I promised never to die on you. I promised never to do something stupid. I’m breaking both right now.” He responded. Eren stared at him in confusion for a moment, not getting the last one.

“You’re not gonna die. Levi, you’re going to make it through this. We always make it through.” Eren tried, emphasising the word always. They had been through so much together, that he had little faith in death coming to rip them apart now.

“Eren.” Levi smiled a bit as he looked at the younger one. ¨I’m going to miss your enthusiasm.” He said quietly. His smile faded slowly as he seemed to be piecing together his next sentence.

“Go.” He said with as much firmness as his dying voice could hold. “Get out now.” He commanded.

Eren stared at him in shock and offence. “But..”

“Go!” Levi yelled as loudly as he could before erupting into a fit of coughs. Eren quickly grabbed the water from the side of the bed and tilted it to Levis lips gently, having him drink before setting it back down.

“I’m not going anywhere until you’re better.” The brunette stated stubbornly, taking Levis hand in his own gently.

“Get out, Eren. Please.” The man pleaded. They went back and forth, arguing and bickering for a while until Eren gave in.

“Fine. I’ll go, but I’m coming back soon with Hange and I’m going to have them reason with you.” He huffed and stood. He brushed some hair from Levis face and looked at his weak lover. A small tear dripped from cerulean eyes as he thought about his pain and how much Levi must be suffering in that moment.

“I love you, so much Levi.” He said before kissing the raven hair at the peak of his head. He left and gently shut the door before heading off to get the broken man's’ best friend. By the time he returned with them, the door was locked. As Eren began struggling with the door and pleading for Levi to open it, the smell of blood filled his nose.

He broke down the door without hesitation, Hange nearly screeching in shock at the boys audacity. Eren froze as he took in his surroundings, his eyes widening and tears streaming from his face. Levi laid still in his bed, unmoving. Blood painted the wall and floor and sheets. The gun lay on the floor, just below crimson painted pale fingers. A note lay on the floor at Eren's feet, but it went unnoticed by the boy.

He was running off shock and adrenaline now, his feet carrying him to the bed despite the blood. He dropped to his knees by the bed and pulled the small corpse to him, nuzzling pitch black hair. Small, grief stricken sobs ripped through the silence as Hange stood in the doorway, eyes wide and watery, the view barely registering in their mind.

They saw the letter on the ground addressed to Eren and picked it up. They put it in their pocket for a later time as Eren mourned over Levi’s death. It still barely registered in Hange for a long while. Not until Eren let out a loud cry of anguish, tilting his head far back as he screamed. Hange joined in as their own sobs started, head dropping as their knees gave way beneath them.

The funeral was days later, and the rain fit the scene. Eren sat numbly through the ceremony, not open for talking. He just kept his gaze on the open casket that held the love of his life. Erwin and Hange both tried to get him to write the eulogy, but he wouldn’t even speak. He had just sat in his room, the one he shared with Levi, and stared at a picture of Levi. It was a shock that they got him to move at all.

It was a rare shot of him grinning, not just smiling, but grinning. He looked happier than he ever had in his life, though he rarely looked truly happy. He seemed like the happiest man alive in those moments during their wedding as Eren read his vows. He has been a mess through it all, but he managed to say what he wanted and they pronounced married. 

Now, Eren looked more miserable than he ever had. He looked like an absolute mess of grief and sorrow. He was a shell heading for emptiness. No one had heard him say anything after they had to pry his dead lover's body from him. He stayed in his room and wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t eat, and he clearly hasn’t slept. He hadn’t had anything to drink except alcohol he wasn’t even allowed to have but was given to him anyway.

When it was Hanges turn to go up, their eyes were swollen and red beneath glasses. They sniffed lightly before giving their speech.

“What am I supposed to do up here?” They began. “Am I supposed to make a joke to lessen the tension? Am I supposed to tell random stories to dwell on fond memories? Am I supposed to say something to my friend? What exactly am I supposed to do here, before all of you, with my friends corpse behind me?

How do I talk about that amazing man in front of you? You know, he used to hit me if he found out I was talking about him behind his back. He wasn’t one for gossip. How do I sum up the man who was humanity's strongest? How do I tell you about him without starting with his life story then fill in the details? I can’t. The only person who could do that is sitting in front of me, staring at Levi now. He won’t speak, eat, or move. That seems to be the impact Levi has on p-”

They were cut off when Eren stood up. He didn’t seem to have been listening as he pushed past Hange and to the coffin. They tried to stop him, grabbing his arm only to be pushed to the ground and glared at with dulled eyes. They stilled and their eyes widened with renewed tears. Eren said nothing as he moved in front of the coffin and stared down into its contents.

“Why?” He whispered. “Was it too painful? Was it because I was too stubborn? Why did you do this to me?” He traced the pale features of Levis face gently. “You always hated it when I was stubborn. Especially when it came to you.” He bent down gently and rested his forehead against the corpse’s own.  
“I’m going to miss you, Levi.” He sighed as a few tears fell from his eyes. Everyone just stared at the broken man as he caressed the dead ones face. No one moved to stop him or speak to him. Everyone was silent until Eren stood back up and shut the casket.

“I hope you finally get a good night's sleep, my love.” He whispered to the wooden box. The tears fell harder then, but no sound escaped Eren as he just stood there. Very few were allowed near the coffin then. Eren only let people he and Levi had trusted close enough to say their goodbyes, and that list consisted of about four people.

It wasn’t until after the ceremony that Hange remembered the letter they found. They went up to Eren, who sat alone in a corner staring down into a drink he wasn’t planning on drinking. Their eyes were puffy and red, which was not a look Eren liked on them, but couldn’t bring himself to be of any comfort. He could hardly bring himself to look at them, let alone most of the people in the room. He knows he can’t look at himself.

“Eren…” They started, reaching into their pocket and pulling out the letter with shaky hands. They held it out carefully, trying to look at him in the eye to no avail. They sighed when the boy didn’t acknowledge them or the letter in their hand. They set it by his drink, seeing his hand tense around it. They noticed that his skin was pale, in contrast to his naturally tan complexion.

“Levi left this for you. I know it’s hard to comprehend, but you need to stay strong, for him.” He tensed even more and looked ready to cry. Or start yelling. Either way, Hange knew better than to test him like this. They left him alone, not seeing him put the letter into his blazer pocket.

The boy was sad and was isolating himself. He had lost the one thing he never thought he could have until he did. He gave everything he was to the man who was currently in a box, about to be buried forever. And now he was being given one more reminder of him? He was already falling into the darkest part of his heart, he couldn’t bare the burden placed on him as it was.

It was days before he bothered to even look at the letter again. He glanced it over slowly at first. He took in the delicate handwriting of his lover. He knew what was inside. He knew, or at least had an idea of, what awaited him inside. When he opened it, he was sealing his own fate. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that kind of pain.

Inevitably, he gave into the temptation. His heart felt heavy in his chest with guilt and his eyes were heavy from sleepless nights. He needed to know what was inside the envelope, detail for detail. He knew he was going to be in pain, and he was still getting used to the idea of opening up to others after… the incident.

That’s what everyone seemed to call it. Especially around Eren. no one seemed willing to say ‘his suicide’ or ‘his death’. The treated him like a child. Treated Levi like the life he lived was merely an inconvenient accident. Everything Eren loathed was nothing compared to his hatred for people who called it an ‘incident’.

The letter was the only thing between him and closure. Between him and a reason to live or die. The only thing holding him back from something rash. From something easy and painless. Holding him back from the death he set for himself. He knew that reading the letter would either revive him, or kill him then and there.

So he slowly opened it. He broke the seal with great gentleness, running his calloused fingers along the crease of the envelope. He took his time in pulling out the letter, the scent of it carrying some resemblance to that of his late lover. He opened it.

‘My love, Eren. 

If you are reading this, I am dead. Dead at my own hands. I know that nothing I say or do will ever make it easy to forgive me. I know, that you are going to blame everyone but me. I know that you are going to blame yourself most of all. It breaks my heart knowing I hurt you this way.

I just want to tell you that in the event you are reading this, I was in great pain. I was in a pain that I would not wish upon the worst of mankind. I would never leave you for anything other than a selfish reason like that. I would never leave you unless my only thought was the amount of pain I was in. Maybe you will find solace in me suffering before I cause you to hurt the way you are. Or maybe in the fact that I found the quickest and least painless way possible.

I also want to tell you how much I love you. You are the only person I have ever let that close. I trust you above all else. I feel safer with you than I ever did alone. It shatters me to think of leaving you this way, but I can’t let you watch me suffer. I can’t let myself be in so much agony. You were, and are forever more, my one true love. I will wait for you in whatever afterlife is holding me now.

The last thing I wish to say. Live. Live your life Eren. Move on and be happy. Go on trips with your sister and Armin. Get into fights with Jean. Find love again. Do something with yourself. Smile that gorgeous smile that captivates everyone who sees it. Smell every flower. Pet every animal you see. Be happy. Be alive. Don’t bring yourself to me too soon.

~Levi Ackerman. Your loving husband. Forever and always.  
-Till Death Do Us Part.’


End file.
